Man vs. cow

April 3, 2020 | Vermont | 20-29 years

I was a participant in a man vs cow mass mud-wrestling match in some rural Vermont high school gymnasium. The mud-filled wrestling ring was huge; it took up the entire gym. Men, women, and dairy cattle wrestled for dominance in the filth. Amidst the chaos and absurdity, I just focused on trying to keep myself and three friends from being crushed by our bovine foes. While cleaning up with paper towels in the public restroom afterwards, I suddenly remembered the highly-infectious virus circulating the globe. "Well shit," I thought to myself. This squalid gathering was certainly not good for mitigating COVID's spread. I nervously pumped extra wall soap and scrubbed my body in vain. Needless to say I awoke with relief.